New Delhi, (DMA Newsdesk): Sometimes in relationships dominance or control or jealousy can be mistaken for love. This topic is about hurt, power, control and feeling bad in a relationship. It is written for people who are on the receiving end of violence. It will bust myths about relationships and look at how to keep as safe as possible.

In heterosexual relationships, women are more often hurt by men, however, relationship violence also happens in gay and lesbian relationships or is done by women to men.

Violence in a relationship - the threat of or the actual act - is a very serious cause for concern. Look out for certain signs that tell you your (or even a loved one's) relationship is headed in a dangerous direction.

If your evenings end with a fight.He creates a scene, simply storms out of the restaurant if things seem not to go his way, or even uses abusive language when you have a fight. You should know that this also constitutes violence in a relationship - it's doesn't necessarily have to be physical.

It's perfectly alright to initiate a breakup in the face of such violence.

Do you do things to avoid your partner getting angry because you are nervous about what might happen?

Have you been told, "you drive me to hurt you" and "you should change" for the abuse to stop?

Does your partner say you are useless, stupid and wrong?

Is your partner always checking every detail of what you do or feel?

Have you been made to think you are not good enough?

Has your partner embarrassed you and your friends so your friends don't hang around any more?

Does your partner threaten suicide or say "I can't go on without you"?

Has your partner yelled at you, punched holes in the wall, lost it or hit you?

If you can't communicate with him

If you constantly fear what his reaction might be to something that you say, he's dominating and overpowering you at some levels. Abuse is also about being unpleasantly overbearing or aggressive. In a situation like this, it's easier for your partner to turn physically or even sexually violent. Take this as an indication that you should cool things off with him.

If he makes unwelcome comments and gestures.

He doesn't actually have to touch you, even making lewd or suggestive comments about you in public or otherwise amounts to violence. If this happens to you, it's a good idea to seek help. If you're dating a co-worker, and the relationship turns abusive, you might want to take refuge in company policy that discourages office romances.

Have you been accused of being with others?

Are you told that it's because of "the drugs or alcohol", "my terrible childhood' or because "I can't control my temper"?

If he controls your every move

If your man begins intruding on your personal space, suffocating you emotionally or controlling your every move even though you've been together for just a few month, it's considered offensive behavior.

For example, your boyfriend telling you what you should wear, where you should go or who you should meet and who you shouldn't, are signs of him taking total control of your personality. Let your friends step in and help you. Talking to your parents about it might also be a good idea.

If he holds or touches you in an unpleasant way.If he touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, or grabs you painfully enough to leave marks, it's as bad as a slap. Rather than cowering with fear, get help. Or seek professional help if you have to.

A healthy relationship needs more than love. It lets you feel loved, respected and able to be yourself. You may see some of the warning signs, but still think "it's not that bad". Feeling scared, embarrassed or pressured does not let you feel OK about being yourself.

No relationship is worth getting hurt or abused for. Stand up for yourself and get out before your self-esteem and sense of self-worth are severely damaged

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